Tracking the Wild Mountainbiker
If you needed to, if your well-being depended on it, could you identify your local trail rider by the tracks they leave? Would you be able to identify which are harmless, and which are unpredictable, or even outright dangerous, with the potential to turn on you at any moment? Or maybe this does not concern you, perhaps you simple enjoy the thrill of spotting the different breeds of mountainbikers who roam our local neighborhoods and nearby woods.
Now, and for the first time ever, Wronco, publishers of such well-known field guides as "Pellets of Discovery: What's In That Owl Pellet", "Chewing: What Gum is That?", and "Piles: Whose Poop Is That?", bring you "Tracking the Wild Mountainbiker", a simple visual guide allowing even the most novice mountainbiker-watcher to locate and identify species and subspecies based on the tracks they leave behind. Not only is this the only guide, it is the most up-to-date one as well; Wronco has worked closely and extensively with each and every maker of mountain bike tire to bring you the most complete guide for identifying marks. In this guide you will find detailed descriptions including tread patterns, overall dimensions based upon differing psi and different rider weight, as well as dimensions and shapes of individual knobs and the gaps between them. This book will help you determine when a track was left, whether there is potential to see the wild mountainbiker, or whether you are wasting your time with a lead that was deposited days in the past. Also included are pages of advice from noted experts in the field, who offer tips on reading tracks, where you can expect to see certain species, how to differentiate between subspecies and, perhaps most important of all, how to watch without spooking the local mountainbiker in your region.
Yes, coming soon, and just in time for that post-holiday rush of new riders, and novices on new bikes to trails and fire roads everywhere, this must-have guide will be available both online, and prodigiously stocked in the worst sellers' section of your nearby bookseller. Act soon, and you will receive the special supplement, "Skinny Too, A Field Guide to Cyclocrossers and Gravelers", two relatively new, though rapidly reproducing, discoveries on the evolutionary tree.
Included with each book is a handy chart and checklist allowing you to keep track of your sightings, where the mountainbiker was spotted, what time of day, whether they were in their natural habitat range, or somewhere in the urban jungle beyond. Each easy to use chart folds to pocket size for simple carryablitiy. All you need is a pencil or pen (not supplied) and a spirit of adventure. But wait, there's more. Each book also comes with a special code allowing you access to an international database, where the information you upload can be compiled and compared with the information uploaded from tens of others, allowing for scientific analysis of data into patterns of mountainbiker distribution, seasonal migration, and who knows what else.
Eva Goodmaker, "those of us who like to spend a few hours outside on a nice weekend day with hopes of spotting some of the rarest of mountainbikers have waited a long time for this book. Some people say what we do is a foolish waste of time. To them I say foo. Now we will have the tool allowing us to search through page after page for hours at a time until finally we can say, 'ha, that is it, the Rocket Ron. I finally have you."
Thomas Tumwedder, noted authority and tracker: "I predict this will become the most important research tool available to both amateur and professional mountainbiker watchers since the self-activating plaster mold. Now, even the most ignorant hobbiest will be able to tell a Schwalbe from a Maxxis from a Continental from a Panaracer from a WTB from a duck-footed platypus. It may very well negate my expertness in the field of mountainbiker watching." Duly quoted, we say!
*The publisher makes no guarantee that this guide will serve any useful purpose whatsoever, other than to provide them with a little more income, nor do they guarantee that the information contained within will become obsolete within a season or two of publication. We therefore recommend you purchase your copy at the most immediate time possible so that you can get the most use and enjoyment from it.