On A Route We Call Scruffy Sue's

Alright, so I'm not the first to connect Lynard Skynard's Gimme Me Three Steps to California's Give Me Three Feet bicyclist safety law, but how many others took [ie. wasted] their time to write up a complete parody? I tell you what, I have a new-found appreciation for the craft of Weird Al; this parody thing is not as easy as one might think. As you read along try to stay as close to the rhythm of Skynard as possible - you'll be fine.

We were ridin' the road
Out at a place called the ells
On a route we call Scruffy Sue's
When up drives a man
In a car colored tan
And he was shoutin' and cussin' too.
He said, "Hey there jack,
With the bike all in black,
Watcha tryin' ta prove?
Cause this is my lane here
And you better take care
Or I might run on over you.

I was sweatin' and winded on my bike
I was soft pedaling after the sprint.
Well he was close and loud and
Wanted us cowed, too
Throwin' a great big fit.
I said "wait a minute mister"
Don't come threatenin' to hit now
No one here's harming you.
And I know you don't know it
And pro'ly don't care
But that lane is there to share.

Won't you give me three feet,
Gimme three feet mister,
Gimme three feet on the road?
Gimme three feet
Gimme three feet mister
And we'll both get home once more.

Well his face turned all red
about what I had said
as the bunch started gatherin' round.
There was mean ol' Ed
and Flat Line Ted
and more of us closin' ground.
Then someone asked him what it's like
To feel life's out of control, and
That old tan car done let out a roar 
And peeled out noisily.


Won't you give me three feet,
Gimme three feet mister,
Gimme three feet on the road?
Gimme three feet
Gimme three feet mister
And we'll both get home once more.



In writing, they say, the best stuff just flows from the pen in a quick burst. This thing took so long, with so many stops and starts, i should have abandoned it weeks ago. But no, I had to finish it. I don't think it will bring me any royalty checks but, whatever.

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